So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
