Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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