Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
