so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
