I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
