I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
