Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize