I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
