Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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