they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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