before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
