i cant cry in cvs. not again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
