so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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