good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We are all done wearing pants today
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
