she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
