he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
