i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
