Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
