He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
