Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
