Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
