I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
