We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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