That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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