I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
