Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
