One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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