woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I color on your dick again?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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