i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
