Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
