I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
