You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
