another moral hangover. fuck.
no, he came in my armpit
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Randomize
