How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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