we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
