So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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