bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
