matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
