Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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