you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ladies don't puke and tell
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
