ugly people sure do ruin things
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize