I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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