if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
