Kiss
Puke
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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