Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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