I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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