Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
