okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
