Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My dick has a subreddit
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
