shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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