Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
