Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
His nipple licking is glorious
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