maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
