Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
