we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
