Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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